heartsapocolypse

I have come to realize that I have been hiding my "girly" side for most of my life. What do I mean by girly side? Well, my feminine side, the side that likes nail polish, make up, wearing dresses, wearing perfume and loving flowers and stuffed animals.

So what's the big deal? Why is this not something that comes naturally to me, a female?

I began thinking about it this morning as I was doing my nails, something that I've just started to do again. I was thinking, is this really worth all the trouble? It's just clear nail polish, no one will even notice it. This is a big waste of time.

And I thought, why? Why is this a big waste of time? Why can't I just do this for fun, because I like it?

From the time I can remember, I had a boy's name, a boy's haircut and despite my wearing dresses to school, I was made fun of and called a boy. It became a pattern in my life that I have never known how to break out of.

I was about 8 years old and being raised in the Catholic church, I went through the classes to have my first communion. The final ceremony was a big deal. The girls had to wear these very frilly white dresses, white patent leather shoes and a veil, sort of like a mini bridal outfit. At the end of the ceremony, we were to stand in lines according to gender. I waited with all the other girls for my certificate. They read all the names and mine was not there. They told me I must have been put in the boy's group and had to go wait in the boy's line for my certificate. There I was in this fluffy, frilly white dress, my white patent leather Mary-Janes and my veil waiting in the boys line for my certificate.

I was 13. I had just put on my very first make-up and was coming down the stairs when my dad very innocently says "what's that all over your face, you look like a raccoon". My dad loves me. He is a loving father that took care of me and has been on my side since the day I was born, and always will be. The reality is that the words we say to our children do matter and can sting.

Thinking about these stories, I realized that was the exact moment that I put away my feminine side.

After that, I stopped wearing dresses, make up and became a tomboy. I went from dresses to Levi's , and tee-shirts. I began to hide my body which was betraying me by developing too early.

I put away my girly side because I didn't understand it. It was so much easier to be a tomboy that I embraced it completely. Now, I wasn't the tree climbing tomboy but just dressed in men's levis and tee-shirts and overalls. I chopped my hair off short and became a tough cookie. I didn't fight physically but boy could I skewer a person with words.

I became one of the guys. I could out swear, out joke and eventually out drink most of the boys I knew. I didn't see my self as a girl so why should anyone else? It was a defense mechanism and a way to fit in. The guys all liked me because I could handle the potty humor and could keep up with the sarcastic patter they tossed around. They didn't need to impress me because I wasn't really a girl, but just another guy.

This has continued throughout most of my life. Even today I think I come across as not very feminine. It's become just the way I am.

My femininity has taken a couple of serious hits as an adult and I found myself diving back into that tomboy thing.

A couple of years ago a friend and I were talking about how his son would sometimes get bored when he would have to tag along with the girlfriend to the mall to get her nails done. I said "Well, he won't have to worry about that with me, I don't do all that girly stuff". That friend stopped and questioned me about my statement. He called me on how negative I was about feminine things. I had never really thought about it but he was right. Girly things were for other girls not for me. I had failed at that and so didn't feel it was an option for me.

Slowly over the last few years I've tried to open up that side of myself. I have done some very deliberate things like let my hair grow long, and dragging out my stuffed animals again. I've come to realize with the help of that friend, being feminine, a woman is a very powerful thing and something I want to embrace. It has changed the way I see myself and how I see the world. I'm not perfect at it yet, after all there are 48 years of tapes to erase from my head. I still don't wear very feminine clothes and I still fall into that "one of the guys" mode more often than I'd like it's what I know. I don't feel like I have to compete with other women because I'm one of the guys instead. I'm safe, harmless like a little sister not an honest-to-god woman.

There is one person who gets to see the woman side of me, one person I feel safe with, that won't belittle me if I don't do it perfectly. Instead with this person I am encouraged to grab it, embrace it and immerse myself in it.

So will I ever find that lost girly girl? I don't know if I ever will but I'm trying to open myself to the possibility that she isn't gone, she's just hiding out. That some day, I'll feel safe enough to let her out so she can have her turn. For now, we do the dance and compromise. I let her put on nail polish and she lets me be a tomboy once in awhile.

I just want to say Happy Memorial Day and to say thank you to all of you who have served. It is an honor to know you and I thank you for doing what so many of us can't.

Whenever I hear someone cough or sneeze at work or on the bus, I want to yell "SWINE FLU".

Sarcasm is lost on some people.

Why do women think it's OK to yell at and publicly ridicule their men?  And why do those men put up with it? And vice versa.

Why is it that some women think the only way they can get help is to speak in a whiny, baby voice and act helpless? Don't they know how annoying that is?

What part of "print your name" don't you understand?

Why is it that after you tell someone you don't have what they want, they keep asking for it?

Why do people feel compelled to keep asking the same question in different ways? Do they really expect me not to know what they are doing?

Or do they expect me to be worn down and give them what they want?

Why do people feel it's OK to yell across the room when they have a question?

Why do they ask for your opinion when they are just going to say, I don't think that's right?

Do I have a target on my forehead? Why in the last week have I been accosted three times at the bus stop by people whose gender is indefinable?

Why do people who don't know you feel it's OK to touch you in public? Or call you sweetheart?

Does the fact that I am wearing  headphones and reading a book not make it clear I don't want to talk to you?

Do you really expect to get good service after you are the customer from hell?

Why is it ok for you to be a jerk but if I tell  you that's not something we can do here, you go and complain and try to get me fired?

Do you realize you are talking on your cell phone while sitting under the sign that says please step outside to answer your cell phone?

When you smell like a pot plant, it will be harder to get a job.

You said what?!? And you're surprised she told you off?

No, that tattoo that says" fuck you" across your forehead won't keep you from getting a public service job.

Yeah, no one has used "cocksucker" as their password and then forgotten it and had have someone your mother's age look it up for you.

Hotsexymama@whatever.com is not a professional email address.

Wouldn't you rather put "customer service" than "service customers" on your list of  job skills?

Sometimes the only thing that works is being a broken record.

Excellent communication skills does not include using profanity every third word.

No, Internet and email are not the same thing.

Isn't it Friday yet?

I know, I know. Change is the only constant in life. It's unavoidable and inevitable. It's supposed to be a great adventure and looked upon with excitement and relish.

I can agree with that if the amount of change is reasonable and can be done over a period of time.  But what's happening right now in my work life is too much change all at once with no breathing space or room to adjust.

The economy here in California is in the toilet and everyone is getting hit. I work for Adult Education and we got hit by the bus, then it backed up, ran over us once, backed up again and dragged us around the block.

They have changed the way Adult Ed is funded. It is no longer funded based on ADA (Average Daily Attendance) but it funded by a block grant that can be used by the district for anything it wants. What that means for us is layoffs, loss of programs and a lessening of services.  In my school we have lost 20 Adult Ed teachers and will loose more before all this is done. What's been cut are the outreach programs that served disabled and the elderly clients.

In the business and training department, we are about to lose another 5-6 teachers in the next few weeks. This means my workload is about to double.

On top of that we are doing a redesign on our whole program apart from the adult school. This is, of course, going to need more employees not less but that is irrelevant. There is no money in the budget so we have to bite the bullet and try to make it work.

This is too much change for me. If it was one or the other, I think I could be more excited about something new. But the thought of doubling my work load when I am already swamped literally makes my stomach hurt. At least they are bringing in an aide that has worked in my department before, is great to work with and knows her stuff. I think we will be able to at least keep our sense of humor through all of this. 

I am trying to find the silver lining in all of this because that is what I do. I'm hoping it will show itself in the next few days but right now I can't see it.

On the other hand, I have a full-time job with benefits and that's a lot more than some people have. I am truly grateful for that.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend a little time in the town where I went to college. It is just the next town up, about 7 miles from where I live.

This college town is home to Humboldt State University, is "green" and is smack dab in the middle of the "Emerald Triangle".  They have an All Species Day parade, hippie festivals and farmer's markets in the summer. In other words, it's groovy.

I had to ride the bus to get to my destination. This is not something new for me as mass transit is my current mode of transportation. But riding the bus in this little town is unlike any bus ride I have ever taken.

This bus has classical music playing in it. They are broadcasting the University radio station, the unmistakable groovy D.J. breaking in to give us the local happenings.

At the University stop hordes of kids, yes, to me they are kids, get on. Most look to be in their very early twenties, toting backpacks, cell phones and iPods. They chatter on as the bus takes off, sharing seats and some standing on the over-full bus.

I was struck by their energy. I'm not talking about bouncing off the walls energy but their quiet energy. The energy that comes from youth. Bright, unlined faces smiling and talking, sharing ideas and laughs, philosophy lessons and making plans for the evening ahead.

I was particularly taken by a young man and young woman who were making some kind of connection on that crowded, noisy bus. They sat across from each other, apparently continuing a conversation started at the bus stop.  He was probably in his early twenties, blonde with a full beard and a great smile. He had intelligent blue eyes that shone when he smiled, which he did often.

She was petite with short blonde hair pulled back into a cute pony tail, beautiful skin and nice blue-gray eyes. She leaned into his words and spoke animatedly with her hands and had a quick smile that flashed in her eyes.

Pretty soon it was time for her stop and they said good bye and she got off the bus. He waved to her as we drove by her.

I was fascinated by the interaction of these two people. It reminded me of how vital we were at that age, with the whole world open to us, our whole lives in front of us. How open we are before we are beaten down and scarred by our lives. By the disappointments, tragedies and monotony that can become everyday life. Before we become tired by the routines and challenges we face every day that wear us down and make us lose that spark.

Watching those two people connect on that level that existed before you learn to hide your heart and be suspicious of every new connection, reminded me that life is full. Life is full of chances and choices. Chances for new opportunities, relationships, and connections. Choices to be made that will open us up or close us down to these new experiences that will perhaps set us on a new, exciting path. A path we are meant to fulfil and perhaps exceed.

So, maybe you can't go home again but it sure is nice to be able to visit for awhile.

So today at work I was helping this gentleman who I think may have been a little slow. Very nice, polite man but a little off. He was sitting next to our new hire, a lovely young woman who is tall, thin and quite pretty. She was working on a project I'd given her and totally minding her own business. I'd gone back to my desk and was doing some paper work when...

I hear him say to her "you're very pretty, are you married?" She says yes, he says "I thought you were because I saw your ring. I really respect women and I really respect marraige and I want you to know that". He goes back to working.

Her shift is over so she leaves for the day. He continues to work and asks me for some help saving a document. I help him to print off his document and to save said document. He says to me "You're very efficient. Thank you for helping me". Very nice man...

I found it hysterical that he tells her she's very pretty and tells me I'm very effiecient... I am getting old...

Undress me in your temple

lay me down on velvet robes

read me poetry in the winter

while the snow falls

 

walk with me

to the mountains

wander with me

to the sea

 

Stand with me

on the porch

hold my hand

in the thunderstorms

 

laugh with me

in the light of the sun

dance with me

under the moon

 

Lay with me

in the

velvet darkness

skin touching skin

heart touching heart

 

wrap your arms

around me

your breath in my hair

your lips on my neck

my hands on

your back

pulling you closer

as I melt

into you…

 image found Here

 

 

There is a small market/deli right across the street from me and I went up to pick up some stuff for lunch today. They have the obligatory Muzak going in the background and the song that was playing was "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band.

I'm standing at the cold case deciding whether I should get a soda or the Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng when I heard a 6ft. tall, multi-pierced, heavily tatted up guy say "I love this song". His girlfriend looked at him in askance and said "What?!" He replied "I love this song" and started singing along...

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

        ~The Declaration of Independence

 

You know, I keep hearing from the pro 8 people that the voters have spoken and that the 48% of us had just better get over it.

 

This sounds like what blacks were told when they wanted to be able to marry out of their race. Yeah, at one time the country chose to have slavery, segregated bathrooms and lunch counters and even segregated marriages. Did that make it right? No.

 

I’m hearing about how the protesters are wrong and should stay home. How many of the protesters in Selma were told that? They used fire hoses and dogs to tell them to stay home. The country had to be dragged kicking and screaming into giving these folks equal rights and it looks like the it’s going to be the same thing with gay people.

 

My daughter and I have talked about this and she has made this observation about why people are so scared of gay people. You can’t look in a room full of people and know which ones are gay. It’s not like they are black and easily identified. And I think that people are somehow afraid that contact with a gay person will “make them gay”.

 

It’s all fear. And that fear makes it easy for some people to dehumanize other people and to get into this group mentality of us against them. That’s what happened when black people struggled to get the right to vote and it’s what’s happening now.

 

This is the next civil rights movement. It's going to be a battle but one worth fighting. How can we say America stands for freedom when we consciously deny a whole group of people their civil rights? How can we say America stands for freedom when we so easily vilify a whole population because of who they love?

 

We are on the eve of change. We have a black president; we had a woman vice-presidential candidate. Isn’t it time we give gay people their civil rights??

 

ETA

See more here

So, I sort of told the people at my work that I thought I'd be ready to go back to work on the 17th of Novenber. Then I called my doctor's office to find out about getting a release so I could do that. They told me that I really had until the 25th before I had to go back--at least that's what I'm entitled with disability. So, do I bite the bullet and go back on the 17th or do I take advantage of the disablility and go back on the 25th? The only reason I was wanting to get back ASAP is monetary... I don't now what to do.

I feel pretty good but then I'm not really doing anything... ARGH...

In cruising around Buzznet tonight, came across something that was disturbing and disappointing. I’m sure that this post will probably generate rolling eyes and claims of political incorrectness but I’m going to post it anyway.

 

What did I see? I saw a post that stated that because of some nudity it “may not be suitable for retards”. OK, I get the point this person was trying to make, and that this person was trying to be funny. However, using the word retard is not clever or funny.  It is in the same vein as using the “N” word or the “F” word and I don’t mean the slang for fornicate. 

 

These kinds of words are tossed around so carelessly these days. There seems to be even less thought about the use of retard and how hurtful and damaging it can be. Perhaps these words will give you an idea of just how disturbing it is.

 

“When you use words like “R#tard” or “R#tarded” it hurts people. Many people with disabilities consider “R#tard” the most offensive word referring to disability. I agree. Bigots use negative terms for minorities. R#tard is the same, it’s hate speech used by bigots. Consider carefully your words in the future. Because…  Words Hit, Hard As A fist. So, JUST STOP IT.”

 

Just something to think about.

 

Original words and the story behind this found at this website.

 

At this website, you can request wallet cards to hand out to people who you hear using these words. You don’t have to say anything else, just hand them a card and smile.  It works…

October 13, 2008. Pre-op day. I spent this day running around doing errands. An early morning trip to the Adult School to drop off attendance paperwork for  the poor sucker getting stuck doing it while I'm out.  The one thing I feel guilty about is dumping this on someone who doesn't have time to do it but it wasn't my decision and I've done tons of prep work to ensure it's not too overwhelming for her.

The administrator sees me and immediately starts in with a list of things I need to do. I'm just sort of staring at her, I'm here on my day off and the day before my surgery. The other administrator says to her, hey she's going in for surgery tomorrow and will be out for 4 weeks... admin one says, well, do it when you get back of course... dumbstruck am I by this woman.

Next I'm off to catch the bus and on to the next errand. I get most things accomplished including lunch, my last real meal for awhile, extra reading material for the hospital, and a trip to the post office.

Next are the pre-op visits at the hospital and the doctor's. Pretty uneventful. EKG, blood work and chest x-ray and mounds of paperwork at the hospital. The doctor's office was about the same, last minute questions, paperwork, and I'm ready to go. Blood pressure is the best it's been in years...

Last errand of the day, Target to purchase feminine hygiene products. Hopefully, the last I'll ever  have to purchase in my life.

I am most excited because Janet will be here in a few hours and it's been far to long since I've seen her. She is coming to walk me through this whole thing and has taken the fear out of it. I know I won't be alone, there'll be  the face of someone who loves me to see when I wake up... a priceless gift she is giving me.

We stay up way to late talking and catching up. She hasn't changed a bit,still young, vibrant, beautiful and knows just what I need. She is the one person in this earth who will always be there for me no matter what. No matter how stupid my choices are, no matter how crazy my situations, she is always there. I hope I have been that for her... I doubt I have come close.

Here it is! The big day! My 48th birthday and surgery day. The beginning of a new life at long last.

Up at 5:00, only a little earlier than usual. Still have to finish packing and getting last minute things together. I'm not nervous at all. I feel perfectly calm. I just know this is the right thing and so know it's going to be fine.

To the hospital at 7:15 for check in and pre-op stuff. It's not long before I'm in a little room, curtained off and in my lovely hospital gown. Janet helps me tie up the back and I sit on the gurney and wait for the next step. They nurses come in, the first of about 9 I'll have over the course of the next 36hours, and ask me questions, verify who I am and start tagging me with bracelets. Janet keeps mentioning to everyone who asks me to tell them my birth date that today is my birthday, because no one makes the connection when comparing it to my charts. She is unstoppable.

Everything is going along as planned until the anesthesiologist appears. Never mind that she looks like she's 12 and could not possibly be a doctor but she is examining my neck and the inside of my mouth and suddenly telling me that she feels it will be safer if I am awake during the procedure... Stop the bus...what?!? Yes, apparently my throat is small and she feels it will be difficult to maintain a viable airway so she is recommending I have a spinal and be awake during the procedure. I could hear my heart speeding up on the monitor. I wasn't prepared for this at all...

Some background. As a teenager, I had to have a spinal tap and am in the 10%  of the population who after such a procedure, the whole left by the needle doesn't close right away, resulting in excruciating headaches unless remaining flat on the back for about 6 weeks. I didn't have an epidural during my daughter's birth because of this fact.

After some reassurance from the doctor I agreed and we were on our way to the operating room. The spinal turned out to be an easy procedure and within a few minutes I was numb from my belly button down. I could feel them moving my legs but I think only because they told me they were doing in. I had an all female surgical team and that was awesome.

I don't know how long the surgery actually took, I was given a sedative to relax me, but it seemed like it took 10 minutes. Before I knew it, my doc says, OK Lee, were done. You're going to recovery now...

My doctor did the surgery vaginally, without having to make a single incision on my belly. I don't really understand how but she did it. No laparoscopy, scopes or cameras, just a keen understanding of how to do a vaginal hysterectomy. I didn't find this out until I was home and I asked about not feeling any stitches or marks from the holes. Remarkable.

Spent quite awhile in recovery because it was shift change and they were waiting for a nurse to be on duty when I arrived. My recovery room nurse, Jerry, was a wonderful man who had a great sense of humor, was calm and reassuring. Because I was awake, I wasn't battling any nausea or grogginess. My only discomfort was an uncontrollable trembling that was annoying more than anything. He gave me something in my IV for it and eventually it stopped. I dozed off  a few times and he would wake me up to check my vitals and to check if the spinal was wearing off.

Eventually my room was ready and I was wheeled up to my room.  Another nurse, Alissa settled me in and got me hooked up to all the necessary equipment  and beeping things. They had these things on my legs that would periodically inflate and massage my legs to keep from getting blood clots. Alissa told me how to use my pain reliever dispensing machine, the call button to ring her and brought me some ice chips. Those ice chips were the most delicious thing I had ever tasted!

Within what seemed like a few minutes, flowers and balloons arrived from the office staff. I dozed off and on and the next time I woke up, there was Janet with another plant (#3 by this time) and a bag of goodies to read. By this time I still had no pain several hours after the surgery. I still hadn't had to use the pain meds and was really surprised. I felt really good, alert, happy and pain free.

My coworkers called and sang happy birthday and I talked to a couple of them. Several more friends and coworkers stopped by and my ex-husband as well. Its funny how you don't realize how many friends you have until something like this happens. And how much they really care. It touched me to see so many faces and to hear from so many friends.

Eventually it was time for everyone to leave and I had some soup and jello for dinner. Still no need for pain meds but I'd been getting a non-narcotic med that seemed to be doing the trick.

The night was a long one. I apparently have a mild form of sleep apnea and kept setting off the alarm when my oxygen levels dropped too low. The nurse (Tiffany) put me on oxygen so I could try to sleep without setting off the alarm.

I slept but woke up every time the nurse came in to check vitals so I didn't sleep much at all that night. I pushed the pain button once in hopes that it would knock me out but I still seemed to wake on the hour.

And so ended Surgery Day and my 48th birthday.

Just a quick note to say hello I am alive! The surgery went very well and I am at a friend's house recupreating. Very little pain but boy am I exhausted...

Thanks for all the good wishes. I'll write more when I can stay awake long enough to put it into coherent thoughts.

Have a great day!

I will turn 48 on Tuesday and will also be going in to the hospital for my long awaited hysterectomy. As a result, I will be off the net for a week or so. There will be 2 days in the hospital and then a week at a friend's house to begin my recuperation.

So, I'll be on hiatus until I can get access to my computer again.

A friend said to look at it like this:

Two days at the castle where you'll be treated like a princess and then a lovely 4 week vacation spent reading, knitting and catching up on soaps (or in my case, CSI).

Have a great couple of weeks and I'll see you all again soon!

Lee

I've been tagged by Miseryxchord:

Dear sstrokerj,

I don't know how to tell you this but the mafia wants you.

I think I realized it when I quoted Santa in your closet and I saw you sit on my avocao plant. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that your Honda sucks.

I'm returning your ring to you but I'll keep your left ear as a memory.

You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the incarnation as an eskimo.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
heartsapocolypse

 

 

 

READ THE RULES


RULES:
Do the "The Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people,
and leave them a comment, informing them that
they have been tagged. Then
copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.
I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and
I saw you ___4___ ___5___.
I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Ive tagged sstrokerj, boz, bizzareland, millieann, codezero

"I knew arthritis was painful but I didn't know it would attack my joints." Enbrel commercial...

OK, now I thought this was pretty obvious... how could you not know that when you have arthritis, it affects your joints. That is what arthritis is...

Beam me up Scotty... I can't take it anymore...

Thoughts of you
drift through my day
keeping me company
in that quiet moment
when I stop
to take a breath
 
You're always there
in my head
wandering around
bringing to mind
little pieces
of  you that
bring a smile
to my heart
 
You're my secret
treasure
tucked away
kept safe
hidden from
the world
so bleak,
the skies so gray
 
You are the sun light
filtering through
the clouds
pointing out
the beauty in my life
reminding me
of it's constant presence
there to be found
and to
behold with wonder
 
Yours is the voice
that soothes me
excites me
makes me laugh
calms my fears
 
but most of all
yours is the voice
that makes me feel
loved…

For some reason, this is just how I feel today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64

Couldn't find a way to post a good quality of this so click on the link please

Na na na na na...

 

By now you'd think I'd have learned
That it's who you look like
Not who you are

Jackson Brown and Donald Miller